No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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