those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
