I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
