Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
