Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is Oprah even human
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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