You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
