he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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