escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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