walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
