you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
