Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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