The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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