nutella sex= disaster
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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