You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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