i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
