This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
