Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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