who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
