I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
