i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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