this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
