I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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