If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
