"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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