Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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