You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
