I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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