I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
