i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
