they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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