Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
