i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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