Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
