THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
