remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
