that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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