remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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