walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
