Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
