do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
