You work out of a Hotel?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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