If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
