I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
