Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize