they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
