I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize