So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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