woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
