If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
