come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
