Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
