I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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