I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
