i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
