You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
