My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
