And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
