So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize