Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
