I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
