I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
