i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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