a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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