Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
